My Hero

My hero this week?

MEGO Spider-Man, star of Toyfare magazine’s monthly feature, Twisted Toyfare Theatre!

From the Wikipedia entry:  Spider-Man (referred to as “Mego Spidey” by fans and Toyfare staffers) often acts as the central character, but he remains aloof of the troubles of others, usually wanting nothing to do with whatever craziness is affecting everyone else (in stark contrast to the real character’s motto of “with great power comes great responsibility”).

Mego Spidey just doesn’t care about much at all.  He truly doesn’t give a fuck and just wants to be left alone.  that never happens, of course, but he handles everythign with considerable grace, incredible aplomb, and overwhelming apathy.  I can only pray that I will one day be able to handle life in such a manner.

Anyway, since he’s my hero this week, I’m going to put up some of my favorite quotes from Mego Spider-Man, and here they are:

(on seeing a crucified Wolverine) “You know, he kinda deserved it.  I saw Van Helsing.”

“I always hoped I’d be Lindsay Lohan’d to death.”

“Ahh. . .the two happiest words in the English language:  ‘open bar.’”

(watching Sex In The City on HBO) “When did the Golden Girls start cursing so much?”

“Based on this first panel alone, I already hate this month’s strip.”

“I don’t know where this strip is going, but I already hate it.”

“Time for me to leave this issue’s story before I see something else I can’t unsee.”

“I’m just going to sit here and watch TV.  Ahhhhhhh, my ass-indent is still warm.”

“That’s one way to salvage this trip. . .nudity.”

“Sixty-five bucks for parking?  We might be testing those tire spikes later.”

“My childhood was hell.  I’m surprised I’m not gay.”

“You smell like Jersey.”

“Get your pasty bald ass off my roof!”

Yeah, this was a lot funnier in my head. . .but at least it’s not depressing, right?